“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Finding the right therapist is about finding someone you feel can understand where you’re coming from and can help you get where you want to be. That includes finding someone who “gets” it and has the training and experience to help you. Here are a few things you should know before working with me.
I’m not a sit-and-nod therapist. Some approaches lend themselves to the quiet therapist, but the ones that I use generally are not. Why? Mostly, because it is not in my nature to sit and be quiet. As long as you are actively participating in your therapy appointment, I will be actively engaging with you. That might mean that I’m challenging you a bit, teaching you something new, or practicing a skill along with you.
I live in the grey area. I used to live in the neighborhood of this-or-that, where everything was black or white. It feels comfortable to pick a side and stay there. The more I ventured out into the world and learned about myself, it started to feel like choosing a side meant sacrificing something else. So, now I let myself be "and also.” I can rock a pantsuit and also my Birkenstocks (maybe on different days). I spend my weekdays in a city and also my weekends on dirt trails. I studied English and also I love math. Nurturing all parts of me has made me happier and more fulfilled, and it’s helped my clients do the same.
I’m involved in dog rescue. I’m telling you this now because you’ll probably see the fur on my pants anyway. I got involved in the rescue world a few years ago. I often have extra dogs crashing at my place until they find their home. I love working with dogs; it’s a great reminder to me that all behavior can be understood if you pay attention. Breaking down behavior is a big part of what I do in therapy as well. Why do I do this thing that ultimately hurts me over and over? We can find that reason, and once we know that we can change the behavior. Note: the cat wants me to let you know that I am also a cat person, but I admittedly still don’t understand cat behavior.
Long-distance running has been a big part of my adult life. On my best days, running has given me purpose, kept me disciplined, and helped me build my community. I know it’s not for everyone (I still don’t know how it ended up being for me), but I do hope that everyone gets to experience something similar in their own lives. So, apologies ahead of time for the cheesy running metaphors that I will undoubtedly use.
Who comes to see me? I work with bosses, artists, athletes, and entrepreneurs.
I see the “gifted kids” who are all grown up. The serious kids and the “old souls." The ones who did all the right things. Who needed to hear, “It’s okay to make a mistake, act silly, be LOUD.” When we were kids, we thought being an adult meant being able to do anything we wanted. What we’ve found are more responsibilities and more worries. I think there is still room for both.
If you’re wondering what it would feel like to do what you want instead of what is expected; If you want to find room for your own “and, also,” I’d love to help you figure out how.
